Communication in Marriage – Quality Communication is Key in Successful Marriages
The quality level of your communication in marriage is a factor that will make or break your marriage. As your lives become intertwined it is important to remember to communicate with your partner effectively and consistently. You see your husband or wife constantly. They are the first person you see when you wake up in the morning and often the last person you talk to before going to sleep. You spend time together during the week and on weekends. At times your relationship may become monotonous, but you have to remember to always attempt to have quality communication in marriage.
FINANCES
Issues with finances can often lead to discontent in marriage. While there are generally no quick fixes to financial problems, communicating about finances can ease partners’ discontent. It is a good idea to establish specific times when you will sit down as a couple to discuss finances. Do not just focus on bills that must be paid. Be sure to talk about goals that each of you have regarding your finances. In taking this time to plan and dream together you can turn finances from a burden in your relationship into a rewarding part of your marriage.
HOUSEHOLD
Together you are maintaining a household. Be clear about who is responsible for what household tasks. If either of you feel that you are expected to perform an unfair share of cleaning or maintenance, resentment may brew. This resentment can be avoided with the use of clear communication in marriage. Approach your partner when you begin to have these feelings. Talk about a specific issue that is bothering you and listen to what your partner says in response. Often, your partner will not realize that you have theses feelings unless you specifically communicate with them about your feelings.
FAMILY
Family relationships effecting a marriage can be with either extended, your in-laws, or immediate, your children. Determine how you, as a couple and individually, are responsible to these family members. Realize that your most important family unit is now your partnership and that partnership needs to be nurtured. When you feel that responsibilities to immediate and extended family members are overshadowing your promises to each other, talk about how to return focus toward your marriage. If either partner in a marriage feels that they are being neglected, it is critical to communicate these feelings.
Communication in marriage is most effective when it is consistent and clear. When talking with your partner be aware of what your partner is attempting to communicate. Be sure to review and summarize what you think they are saying. For example, after having a discussion with your spouse repeat what they have said to you to ensure that you understand what it is they are trying to communicate. Use phrases such as, “I think what you are trying to say is…” and listen to their response. Most couples will feel more connected when there is a clear line of communication in marriage. The key to this connection is listening.
Ways to Save a Marriage – Save Your Marriage Today
Many people panic at the first signs that there is trouble in their marriage. In this case, one of the best ways to save a marriage is not panicking. If you panic that just puts more stress on your marriage. So both parties should know that the first element to saving their marriage is to remain calm. Maybe even take a time out until the panic disappears. If you can do this it will make it easier to talk.
When the marriage is having trouble, don’t be afraid to talk about it. Really solve the problem. Do not just put a band-aid on it. It will just come back to haunt you again a few months down the road. As hard as communicating back and forth is hard for some people it is a definite must to save a marriage.
One of the other ways to save a marriage is to do what you say you are going to do. Do not make an empty promise just to appease your partner. Making a promise and not acting on it will start to bring up trust issues. If you push the marriage into trust issues it may be a lot more difficult to repair it.
Another one of the great ways to save a marriage is giving your partner space. If your husband is working on something in the garage, you can ask if he wants help. If he says no, don’t try to interject yourself in what he is doing, especially if you know nothing about what it is he is doing. The same will go for him if his wife is in the kitchen cooking. Don’t worry, marriage does allow for time being apart from one another. It just makes the time you are together that much nicer.
Make your decisions together. If you are going to make a major purchase make sure that you and your partner are both OK with it. If you don’t respect your partner enough to talk about the purchase, you will not respect them when it comes to other parts of the marriage.
Finally, many times in a marriage both people have a need to win that argument. Learn how to be a good loser. Evaluate what the issue is. Decide if it is really that important or will really hurt you. If the issue will not destroy your well-being then lose. That sounds bad but it really isn’t. Sometimes when you lose, you really win. On the other hand sometimes when you win at all costs you lose.
If you have tried all these ways to save a marriage and nothing is working it may be time to get some outside help. Seeking help from a certified marriage therapist is not an embarrassing thing to do. Actually it is a smart thing to do. She may find things out about your relationship that even you didn’t know. So be open when you go there, don’t point fingers and fight, learn from the experience.
Common Problems In Marriage And How To Make It Through
No matter how long a couple has been together, whether one year or fifty, there are common problems in marriage that can impact any husband and wife. Though challenges and difficulties are a normal part of life, working through a problem as a team will increase the ability that you can overcome your marriage problems and still maintain a strong and healthy relationship afterward.
Before reviewing the main problems in marriage that couples have to work through, it is important that you recognize positive communication techniques are essential. Marriages are partnerships, both parties are equal team players, and each spouse has different viewpoints and needs. The odds of overcoming problems in marriage are greatly diminished if a husband and wife keep problems inside or if one spouse’s needs are always tended to over the other partner.
Large problems in marriage can seem much smaller and more trivial when a couple comes to the table to identify the problem, shares ideas in possible solutions and then implements their ideas. Healthy communication and the ability to compromise in a couple creates a strong force to be reckoned with. At the same time, small problems can become bigger than they need to when a couple is unable to communicate effectively.
Money is a common problem in marriages. It could be that debt is causing stress on both husband and wife, or one spouse has a habit of overspending. Another possibility is that one person might be the breadwinner and the other individual feels dependent or needing permission to spend money. Any of these monetary problems in marriage can result in increased stress, resentment or pointing blame at one another. However, when a couple spends time acknowledging what the monetary problem is and brainstorms solutions to change the direction of their money issues, they can actually improve their relationship by working on their goals together. When husband and wife see each other as allies vs. enemies, exciting and new ideas such as relocating, career changing or debt consolidating can be invigorating, actually adding a new spark to the marriage.
Another problem area in marriages is where intimacy is concerned. Couples need intimacy to strengthen their bond and love. There are many reasons why being intimate can become problematic. Some common reasons are being too tired due to a hectic daily life, a partner working an evening shift, health conditions or even a woman or man’s low self image. To overcome intimacy problems in marriage, the important first step is identifying what the main issue is, then coming up with appropriate solutions. No matter how difficult the obstacles may seem, a healthy couple can listen to one another and come up with ideas that solve their problem.
Money and lack of intimacy are some of the most common problems in marriage. Of course, there can be many other challenges such as health, family relationships, children or even emotional baggage from the past. The tragedy with most couples that don’t survive marital problems is that they believe the problem is what dissolved their marriage, when it was actually their inability to communicate. Most husbands and wives encounter the same challenges in their relationships, but the ones who consider each other equal life partners and teammates are the marriages that can survive any challenge that life may bring.
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